A horrible ordeal

I do not know these people personally, but I read this blog regularly. I cannot image going through such a terrifying experience. The medical problems that we went through with Jackson were heart wrenching enough. Please take a moment to read about this families plight. Even if you are unable to help financially, please keep them in your prayers. If anyone knows about the power of prayer it is my friends and family.

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I am not asking you to donate, that is your own choice, but maybe post a supportive message to help lift them up in their time of need. Thank you on their behalf!

I know, I have created a monster!

Sometimes I don't think that I adequately portray just how goofy Jackson is. Those of us who are blessed to spend time with him every day often find ourselves just laughing hysterically! He is so funny, my Mom claims this is just like me as a child. Well I thought that this might be a good time to share some recent funny pics with you. Enjoy!

Rock star!

Guitar and Bulldozer rain boots, perfect combo

His first gig! A very exclusive party at Uncle Travis' house!

Shirt? Check! Diaper? Check! Boots? Check! Pants? Hmmm....

Dancing Machine!

Oooo! Shaking his butt!

Using a pillow as a blanket...

Pretending to sleep on the sofa.

Wet boots on the couch, yeah!

Brilliant!

Let me see... Y=X, carry the 1, multiple by C

Jackson and baby Timmy.

Making a funny face.

My excitement quickly dissipated

Well, a couple of weekends ago I purchased two cooking utensils that I have been eying for a while now. I found a cast iron double sided griddle and a cast iron dutch oven both for considerably less than I found elsewhere. I read all the instructions before using the griddle last night. I was so excited to try it out. Well the instructions were very limited. They detailed how to reseason the cookware should you ever need to but they didn't talk at all about tempertatures or recommended heating times or anything along those lines. So last night I began making BBQ Chicken Kabobs on our new griddle. Well things did not exactly go according to plan. First of all, the grill got very hot very quickly so the sauce that dripped off burned and smoked so much that our smoke detector went off. Then the kicker came when we finished dinner and moved the griddle we found that it had scorched our stovetop!! Uuugghh! I don't know how to get the burn marks off of our stove (we rent so this is not our property) and I don't know how to prevent this in the future. I was so thrilled about these new pans and now I am not so sure. I have been wanting cast iron cookware because I have a bunch of recipes from the Food Network shows that I watch. Paula Deen uses it all the time and many of the hosts use the stovetop griddles without any of the problems that I experienced. I am so frustrated! The food turned out really good but it just did not go smoothly. Another shining example of how I am purely a Half-assed Martha Stewart!! Geez!

He is getting sooo big!!

This will be a really quick post about our weekend. First off, my little baby is getting so big! He can say just about anything now, including "I love you" !!!!!!! And he is just tall and wearing boy clothes, not baby clothes. There was just something about him this weekend that made me realize we are out of the baby phase. He is a kid now, barely even classified as a toddler! It is just breathtaking to watch him evolve into this little person who has manners and opinions. The last two years seemed to just dissapear like sand through my fingers. I am so thankful that I have kept so many memories from this time, down to special occasion cards. I have tons of pictures and someday I will print off more of them to put into albums. The time goes by so fast.

Easter was a lot of fun. Jack totally caught on to the Easter Bunny thing. He ran around the house hunting for his basket and just being goofy. And he was genuinly excited each time he found something else. He was a trooper all through the Sunday festivities, his schedule was completely off but we managed with only a few minor meltdowns. Overall it was just a really nice weekend. Snow on the ground but lots of sun in the sky!

We are supposed to get a little more snow but I am just praying that it will skip us and we will warm up and enter spring. It can't go on like this forever. Well, I will post again soon with a bunch of up to date pictures. Until then enjoy your day! I am making Chicken Burritos for dinner, yummy!

Snow!? What the @#$%?!

Gggggrrrrrr! I am just going to pretend like it is not happening. In my little world it is spring, there is not snow on the ground it is fluffy white cotton! It is not gray and dreary, instead it is just an homage to the spring fashion color palate! The plow trucks are actually large machines prepping the roads for the heavy holiday traffic. Clearly you are all mistaken in thinking that we are having another winter storm. Today I am wearing a bright spring green top and cute patent leather black flats. This is not a problem because there. is. no. snow.

I am looking forward to carrying an umbrella and wearing cute rain boots! Jackson's rain jacket is adorable, he has it in navy with buckles and yellow with buckles, he looks like Paddington the Bear! I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain...

Soon we will have tulips and GREEN! It has been so long since we have had green and sun! I cannot wait to go back to the Botanic Gardens near our home, it is such a fun way to celebrate the changing of the seasons. Plus Jack is a little older this year and so we will probably get some great pics and have so much fun. I am thinking that we will plan a trip there next month some time.

Soon we will be able to take walks around the neighborhood and go play at the park. We will start doing outdoor activities on the weekends and maybe I will start jogging (ambitious, I know, but it could happen!). Josh will be able to teach Jack to throw a ball, so far he is a little uncoordinated... Owen throws a ball much better than Jack. But practice makes perfect and up until now we never really tried to play catch with Jack. So I know that they will have fun doing outdoor sports stuff.

Spring, spring, spring! Yellow, Pink, Blue, Green! Flowers and Bugs! Hooray! We got a kite with bugs on it the other day at the store and I have been itching to go and fly it. We have a huge field behind our house that is too overgrown in the summer to play in but semifrozen ground might be the perfect time. If not our park has a huge field and baseball diamonds that we could fly our kite in.

Thats all for now, Happy Easter! Happy Spring! Goodbye snow and winter!

Easter!!

Easter is right around the corner, I don't know if I like it being so early this year, it is throwing my schedule all off. I was thinking about the meaning of Easter and what parts of the holiday I want to celebrate with my new family and what to leave out. You see growing up both Josh and I only celebrated the fun, Easter Bunny and eggs part of the holiday. We just sort of skipped past the religious aspect. I know that we want to raise Jackson and any future children a little bit differently. Because of our upbrining we are not very religious, and organized religion is a very touchy subject for us. But because of events in our adult life, spirituality is very important to us. A lot of people cannot understand the difference. Basically, we believe in God or a higher power, we believe that our lives are overseen by this higher power and that He has the ability to help or hinder us. We do not believe the Bible in its entirity. You will never hear us quoting scripture. That being said, we do believe that stories told in the Bible have great moral value and can really help people in their time of need. So, when we get to holidays like Easter we have to think about how we want to address it as our children grow. I think that we will share the story of Jesus being reborn and going to Heaven with our kids but we will approach it as. a. story. I think that religious holidays are a good opportunity to teach children about the different belief systems in the world and to teach them about the morals behind the scripture. We will explain that the Easter Bunny is a lot like Santa Claus, he helps us to celebrate this wonderful story and reminds us about the joys of giving and cherishing family.

So, we are preparing for Easter. The baskets are out of storage, the gifts and candy are ready for assembly. We have decorated eggs around the house. Later this week we will hard boil and color eggs. I will also make deviled eggs, but not too many because Mom is making her own and I am sure that Josh's Aunt Margaret will make some for their get together (Deviled eggs are her "thing" so I don't want to step on any toes!). So we are excited. If Easter plays out at all like Christmas and Halloween, then Jackson will love it. I don't think that we will do the Bunny Tracks (flour footprints on the floor) this year, Jack is a little young for that still but maybe next year. I think that we will hide the basket as well as some plastic eggs and do a quick little hunt before breakfast and off to Moms. I don't want to do anything too elaborate because I am sure that Mom has a lot planned and we don't want to burn the kid out by 10 am.

I am excited! I love holidays and coming up with new traditions. I love to pass my excitement on to my children and hopefully, my husband. He does not share the same affinity for special occasions as I do. He really looks at holidays like they are a chore. I think that is sad, while there is sometimes work involved, I think that it is nice to plan something special and out of the ordinary every once in a while. And I also think that it is a nice treat to try and make a holiday special for your family and friends. Before we know it life will have flown by and we will wish that we had more time, more opportunities to spend with our loved ones, we will wish that we did more to show how much we cared. I just try to take advantage of every chance to bring a little joy to my family, every day would be great but I think putting a little extra care into the holidays is the least that I can do.

So on that note... Happy Easter! Enjoy the day in whatever way you celebrate. Whether it be with bunnies and baskets or crosses and scriptures, Sunday is a great day to remember the people you love and how lucky we are to have the lives that we do.

Let Go and Let God

I am not feeling particularly witty today. I got a cold last night and it is kicking my ass. My nose feels like I took sandpaper to it and my head feels like an overstuffed sausage. Oy. I could crawl into bed right now and stay there until Monday. I am also really out of it, distracted and fuzzy. Thankfully we are having steak fajitas tonight for dinner which is something that Josh can easily help me with.

But there is no rest for the weary, I need to do dishes and laundry too. My day is never done. It drives me crazy because Josh does not understand why I need him to do what I ask at the very moment that I ask it. Inevitably he will procrastinate and so while I am doing my share of the chores I am dwelling on what he is NOT doing and then I end up doing it myself out of fear that it just won't get done.

I hate having a messy house and some part of ours is always messy. I clean up Jacks toys multiple times a night and very rarely leave them out at the end of the night. But there is always a closet or corner that seems to collect all the crap that I am just too exhausted to deal with and eventually it will get so overwhelming that I have to spend most of a weekend just trying to rectify my laziness. Take my closet for example, I have been able to keep up on washing all of our laundry but by the time I am done with the rest of the crap that I have to cram into an evening (remember, I spent 8 hours of my day handling the work of 50 agents) I am too tired to tackle putting it away. So it piles up and Josh & I wear semi wrinkled clothes for a while until it gets so ridiculous that I have to put it all away at once instead of a little at a time. Or until it is all dirty and we start all over!

I know that it doesn't really make sense but right now I can only organize/fix one aspect of my life at a time and I am struggling to do even that. We are making strides with getting back on top of our bills and debt and hopefully our tax return will make big improvements but it is all just so stressful. I wish that I could win the lottery, pay someone to fix everything, then take a long vacation. Oh the things I would do if we won the lotto... I would not be one of those people who bought extravagant things and never worked again, instead preferring to dwindle their money away. Instead, I would continue to work, even just part time, I would buy a new car for both myself and Josh (nothing fancy just practical) I would buy a nice house that we could expand our family in and be comfortable for a long time, I would invest a lot and I would also donate to AIDS awareness/research, Cancer research/treatment and March of Dimes. I know, I have this all figured out. I even know what parts of the country we would buy property in based upon areas that are growing and improving and the property values there. I would also set aside money for Jackson and any additional children (I wouldn't tell them that nor would I just give it to them but it would be there if they needed help and would be theirs when I go). Trust me, I am very aware that I have thought more about how to spend my imaginary money than I have thought about how to better allocate the money I have now. But it helps me get through the tough times to think about life being easier some day.

So, now that I have just depressed and overwhelmed everyone reading this... but in all honesty things are looking up. Josh and I have hardly argued lately, Jackson seems to be listening a little bit better and every day we are working towards improving our lives. Whether it be applying for assistance or health insurance, paying a past due bill or simply going to church. We are making strides and that is the important part. Everybody struggles sometimes and the key is to not dwell in the trenches but to start digging and find a way out. I have faith that God has not forgotten about us, I know this because I speak with him often, and he only dishes out what we can handle. All the hardships that I have experienced in my life have made me the person that I am and I am grateful for that. When I need help or I feel like my life has become unmanageable I just turn it over to Him. And with that I am going to call it a day. I still have a half hour of work ahead of me.

Carrot Mint Puke & Missing Ironing Boards

Well, Jackson has never been one to shy away from vomiting and last night was no exception. We have been trying to feed him anything and everything that he wants in an effort to put some weight on him. So last night, after he had already eaten dinner, he had a bunch of carrots, scalloped potatoes and then an entire piece of irish mint and chocolate cake. A great combination, I know! So, come bed time he would not settle down so I told him I was going to leave the room for a minute. I was really only going to fill his sippy cup but he had a meltdown. He cried for less than 2 minutes but apparently the strange combination plus imminent desertion was too much for him to handle. Needless to say he threw up over his bed. Multicolored, nasty, puke. GREEN and BLACK to be exact. Gross. So we had to strip the bed and give him a bath then start over with the bedtime routine. And now his covers are not coming clean.

And today has not been much of an improvement. I somehow lost our ironing board. I mean it is totally gone. How do you lose an ironing board?! I mean it is not exactly an item that is easily misplaced, we don't take it on vacation with us or on a quick trip up the block. It pretty much just stays in the laundy room. Perhaps there is some mysterious ironing board bandit roaming the streets of Mundelein looking for his next fix. Seriously, how does this stuff happen to me? It is not as though our home is so large that we have multiple rooms to store our missing items. Has anyone else lost a large item, a coffee maker or even a television perhaps?

Baby Steps

So having Owen in town seems to be really good for Jack. Last night he ate dinner at my moms before I picked him up and then he ate a ton of food at Lynn and Jims also! He had a huge piece of sausage pizza (yummy!!), a chocolate covered brownie and half an eclaire. Plus he has not drank out of a regular bottle in over a week, it has been sippy cups and big boy cups. Granted the sippy cups he uses most often are very bottle-like but it is an improvement none the less. Plus last night he used a big boy sippy cup that does not have a rubber bottle like nipple. We are really moving. It is like he turned two and suddenly it was time to progress. I'm liking it!

He was also so energetic last night. It was so funny, he was bouncing off the walls. It was really nice because he took to Howard right away. Last time he never really warmed up to him, so I was so happy to see him excited to see him. They had a blast playing with the dump truck. I love having our family here, we all really miss them when they go back to Colorado. It is hard not having the boys together all the time. Owen is so cute, I wish they lived closer. I am excited to move to Colorado in the future but I know that it will be really hard for me to leave my family.

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The Cat Weighs More

So, Jackson had his 2 year check up with the doctor on Monday. Everything looks great, no signs of his prematurity at all. In fact, he is probably a little advanced for his age. So that is really good. However, he is super super skinny. He weighs 23 lbs. 23 lbs, at age 2! To put this in perspective, Owen (Jack's cousin) turns 1 on Saturday and he weighs 23 lbs. 23 lbs, at age 1, and he is not even in the upper weight percentages for his age. So needless to say Jack needs to fatten up. I am not worried for his health or anything, he is just tall and skinny. Or as Jen put it "Chicken bone". I think he would put on more weight if he would just eat better. The kid still eats like he is all gums- if you do not mash up his meat and mix with so much sauce and potatoes or veggies that you cannot even tell it is there, he just spits it out. Or he will do the chipmunk thing and chew it up and then store it in his cheeks until his cheeks are too full to hold any more and he has to spit it out. So Gross. I am just praying that this is just a phase and that he will grow out of it. I mean, he won't still be spitting out his food at 18 right?! I think that it is more annoying than anything else, yeah I want him to gain weight but more importantly I just want to be able to give him whatever we are eating. Take Owen for example, he only has 5 teeth and he is just a little squirt but he'll eat pizza, hot dogs, whatever. Little Maya, he is so funny.

Speaking of Owen, I love having Jen and Owen in town. It is hard having some of our families so far away (Colorado and Florida). When they are home it just feels like the family is whole. Plus, it is so fun the way that Jack and Owen can play together now. They are perfectly content to run off to the other room and just talk and throw stuff by themselves. When it is just Jack, he never wants to play alone. One of us always has to be entertaining him.

Well, I really need to get back to work. I also need to try and come up with something to make for dinner. We are putting off a much needed trip to the grocery store so it looks like we might be eating frozen veggies and meatballs for dinner. Or La Choy (slimy, canned, processed, immitation Chinese food) which has been in the cabinet for about a year and I still don't know why I bought it in the first place. BLECH! I can just see it now, plopping onto the skillet with the rings from the can still visible... anyone hungry??

Thank You!!!

If you read the comment from the previous post, my Grammy makes a good point. The party was great and it was very much a result of my family. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Not only for helping my get the entire party ready but for not caring how it turned out. Grandma, Christy and Mom thanks for helping me finish the food. Mom, Christy and Marissa thank you for doing the decorating. As I mentioned, you were a lot more creative than I would have been and Jackson loved it. To my entire family, thanks for just being you and letting me be me: crazy, overly ambitious, procrastinator and all. I love you all and I am so glad that everyone was able to share this weekend with us. It wouldn't have been the same without you. And for the record, I promise to share the karaoke mic next time and even if it means allowing Irv to perform his rendition of Yesterday on repeat!

All's Well That Ends Well

So, it turns out that I am not much of a June Cleaver, Martha Stewart type. I ended up way behind on Saturday so all the decorating was done by my mom, Christy and Marissa. Granted they did a great job, better than I would have, but it was still such a let down knowing that I just didn't get it together. My sister ended up sleeping through her initial flight so the party dragged on for a looonggg time waiting for her to get there. People were noticably bored and rightly so. I planned one dippy little game but certainly not enough to fill a good two hours. But Jackson had a great time playing in his jungle and eating his cupcakes. He was even attentive and excited through all his presents. And that in and of itself was an incredible feat, that kid got a ton of gifts! So, despite some major flaws in the design, the party turned out okay. I vow to make next years party even better, and without burnt cupcakes.

Aside from birthday parties gone awry, my relatively decent diet went right out the window this week. I don't know if it was just a result of being too busy or lazy or what, but this past week I ate more fast food and drank more soda that I usually do in a year. I am not exaggerating. I had McDonalds, Wendy's, chinese food, pizza, snacks and probably a case of soda by. my. self. !@#$% I swear, I am already way too close for comfort to the dreaded 200 mark and I am certain that this week did me no favors in the weight loss department. On the plus side though, Josh did get our new exersize machine put together! Today is a new day. So far I have not broken any deadly sins (well at least not glutony) and I am determined to get back into the swing of things. No more soda, back to water, juice and milk. No more fast food, well until pizza on Saturday. I have to stay on track because if I run into one more skinny bitch I went to school with while I look like an overstuffed sausage I will bury myself alive. You can hold me to that. I will just buy myself a laptop and leave posts from beyond the grave. Morbid, I know, but you should see my midsection. (By the way, I gave up on the whole sign off thing... too anchorwoman!)